elpasochristmas

I'm back from El Paso.

It was totally fun- Spent oodles of time with the family. I also got some bonus hang-out time with Ben Lingard- that was super cool. My whole family wants me to marry him... Weird.

The whole drive back was filled with thoughts that I wanted to say here... You know how you think of "Whoo! I SOOO want to talk about this on my website!!" randomly? Yeah, that was me. BUT, as luck would have it, I can't remember anything that I wanted to say. Crap.

Wait! I just remembered something... I wanted to talk about high school friends.

I guess everyone gets to the point where they simply just don't talk to their old friends- too changed, too busy, too whatever. Well, I was pretty proud of the resilience of my friends... We at least would have one night to catch up every time I went back to The Pass. This time-- I tried. I made the phone calls: Steve, Stephen, Marti, Luis, Albert, Thomas, etc. But, we all had other stuff going on- stuff with the family, stuff with much closer friends. I am not upset by this necessarily- I just found it interesting that I finally got to the point where the only heart-string left to hold me oh-so-desperately tightly to El Paso is my parents. And the weird thing about that is I'm totally cool with that... I always thought that we would be friends forever, you know, Saved By the Bell style. But, interestingly enough, you really do only talk to the people that you were extremely close to... a concept I never believed would happen to us.

I mean, I didn't even go to Chico's! That's just insane. But, as I said with Jesse Clark on the phone... he asked why I was only in El Paso for a few days whereas all the others are there for their whole break from college... This was my reply: "Well, I'm an Austin girl now." Meaning, why the crap would I stay in El Paso forever when everything that I have is in Austin? Job, school, my apartment, everything I own, etc. I do desperately miss my parents all the time, but we talk on the phone AT LEAST twice a week... So even that is taken care of.

I don't really know what point I am trying to make- well, I do... But I am finding that the words aren't being typed as well as I had anticipated. In any case- I love you all SO MUCH, but there comes a point when you move on and make your own life.

And high school is NOT my life.

In the words of Straylight Run... I was "holding on to the memory of what didn't last."

Straylight Run - Now It's Done