pilotisnotdead

He once was lost, but now is found.
Was blind, but now he sees.

OKAY. THIS IS THE CRAZIEST THING EVER. MY FISH, PILOT, DIED THIS MORNING. I SAW HIS BODY RESTING UPSIDE DOWN IN HIS TANK AFTER FLOATING TO THE TOP AND I SAW THE ummmm.... WASTE COMING OUT OF HIS BODY.

BUT.

LISA AND ORSON CAME OVER FOR HIS FUNERAL AND TO OUR SHOCK AND AMAZEMENT, HE WAS ALIVE.

How on Earth?!

Ok, you need the backstory.

When I was in high school, I had this gerbil, Fritz. I loved Fritz SO much. I would always play with him and let him run around my room in his little ball. He was so smart, too! He learned how to jump out of his cage and jump around my room freely. Amazing. I had him for 4 years- amazing considering their life span is only 1 year. So, when Fritz died my junior year, (I saw him rigor mortis-ed out and I couldn't look again, so I made Jamie come confirm his dead-ness), I was devastated. I cried and cried and cried (I know, I'm pathetic, I was 17 years old) and everyone at school made my sympathy cards and everything. Well, a little before lunch time, my mom came up to the school and had the main office come get me from class. I walk towards the main office and there's my mom with a message- FRITZ IS ALIVE!!! Screaming down the halls, FRITZ IS ALIVE!!! Well, I didn't believe her, I thought she just replaced him because I was so upset. But, sure enough, it was definitely Fritz in my cage at home. (He had this very defining white patch- like the guy that used to do Talk Soup on E! but is now on the TV Guide channel.)

THIS IS WHAT MAKES THIS EPISODE SO FREAKING CRAZY.

I SAW PILOT DEAD. I came to work super upset, I couldn't taste my breakfast, I was telling everyone that I was going to be a horrible mother, everything. Told my Thundercloud boys/girls that he was dead. Brad bought me candy to make me feel better. Katie was sad she was going to have to miss his funeral. Etc. So, Lisa and Orson come over with a sympathy card (which is the most hilarious thing ever, I'll transcribe it for you some other time... maybe when Pilot dies for real) and ready to bury his poor tumored body, but Orson looks at him, and he says, "Ummm... do you have another fish?" No. "This fish is alive." I wasn't a believer at the time. I thought they got me another fish. BUT NO. THIS IS PILOT. He has his tumor and everything. I don't understand it.

HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TWICE IN MY LIFE?!?! I WILL NEVER BURY ANYTHING UNTIL I AM SURE IT IS GOOD AND DEAD.

This is totally nuts. I don't understand it at all. But my little fishy is alive.