Dining Alone - A Social Experiment

This post was written about a month ago on a map I printed out to find Carolina and I's meeting place. I am finally posting it.

I got done with my daily tasks an hour earlier than I expected. I was meeting Carolina to do some visiting teaching in a little under 2 hours, but I already was within a mile of our meeting place.

I was hungry.

Bertucci's was nearby, so I thought I would kill some times by dining. Alone.

I have NEVER sat in a restaurant alone, seated in one of those tiny tables meant for intimate couples, or not-so-intimate couples if the restaurant is busy enough.

Anyhow. I decided I would try it. I am almost 23 – I should have had this experience by now, right? Yet, I was still somewhat nervous.

I walk in. The hostess looks through me to the door, obviously expecting a gallant young man to be following.

I say, “It's just me.”

Hostess: “Oh.” (putting the now unnecessary additional menu back down from where she grabbed it.)

I am seated.

I waited for what could not have been more than 2 minutes when my waiter, I would guess 25-28, dashes up, profusely apologizing for taking so long.

I order – Diet Coke, extra glass of water, my food. He checks in with me four times between the delivery of said drinks and delicious food.

My dinner arrives. I eat it.
Bill comes. I pay it.

(Yes, my darling Jenni, it turned out I could afford more than rice and beans.)

Not that eventful, just a meal.

But.

Throughout the meal, I compulsively checked my cell phone for the time, making darn certain that every person walking through that door knew I was simply waiting for someone. That simple action said - “I have friends, believe me, I'm just killing time.”

And why was I studying The Paradox of Choice so intently? (Which, regrettably, I haven't done much of since then...) Making notes and underlining text with furrowed brow just so everyone could see I had important things to do. I was smart. I was an intellectual.

Why did I sit up perfectly straight and suck in my “Boston Bulge” so all around wouldn't feel sorry for the fat girl who is forced to eat alone? Why did I completely refuse additional rolls when the waiter insisted that I should eat more of their tasty goodness?

I love being alone and I found out that I actually love dining alone... so why fear others' perceptions? A quote: "Enjoying one's own company, and the freedom that goes with it, has always been seen as a deep character flaw."

"Fine dining is a bit of theater, and solo diners, by our singularity, are the stars. So enjoy the chance to be really special. Fantasize if you wish." Lea Lane in Solo Traveler